Higher state of consciousness

It's not easy to reduce a full day's workshop into a five minute synopsis, particularly without sounding like a complete fruit-loop, but I'll do my best to explain the main findings of Saturday's Higher Consciousness Workshop.

As I understand it, we exist on 3 levels:

Ego
the bit we paint on top to protect ourselves. It's not our true self but made from fear.

Soul
who we are fundamentally, what our true strengths our, why we're here.

Spirit
our life force, our energy, the timeless bit, the thing that carries our soul, brings it to life.

Almost all the time, almost all of us, are only in touch with our egos and are therefore coming from a perspective of negativity and fear but, calmness and real contentment can be brought about from looking at the bigger picture which is, it seems, that we're all made from energy and that the day to day stuff is largely unimportant.

The workshop was really to help us get past the ego and tap into the deeper levels to allow us to see our own souls a little clearer, to realise our own purposes, and also to feel our spirit energy connections with others. The man taking the class, Paul, believes that he has the ability to help us channel these energies, that he's in touch with the bigger picture and wants to help other people see it and connect with it. Awesome!

None of it was really all that "out there". This guy was normal, neither stiff suit nor tie-died fisherman's pants, just sweater and jeans, really nice and down to earth. I trusted him. Each of us received a crystal for our soul, our spirit and our twin flame. He spent about a minute working on each crystal, capturing the energies and attuning them to our personal energies. I confess, I was a bit skeptical.

When we each received our soul crystal we had to sit with it quietly and then tell others what we felt. I felt bugger all. I had no idea what they were talking about. A bit embarrassed I explained that I'm new to this, I didn't know what I was doing or looking for. It just made me feel a bit smiley, that's all, that can't mean anything, can it? Paul took my crystal and after a few seconds this is what he said:

“This is a very positive crystal, I feel joy. It’s all about happiness. You're here to bring joy and happiness to others, but specifically I see groups. You’re here to bring joy and happiness to groups of people. Are you a psychotherapist?”

Whoa. I explained that I'm studying psychology because I'm especially interested in positive psychology and what makes us happy. Afterwards I thought about how I enjoy arranging events in the hope of creating communities with the end purpose of connecting people to make them happy. And how I do go on about connection, community and happiness a bit sometimes. ;o)

Each person who held my crystal said it was full of joy and made them feel really happy - yay! I held Dominique's crystal and I felt an upward surge of energy. She told me hers made her sit up straight. I held Emily's and I felt like a jumping bean inside, left to right to left to right, but upwards, like a positive energy trying to escape, and she laughed and told me that's hers in a nutshell. They got two crystals mixed up so I held them and could tell the difference and gave them back to the right people - WTF?! So my skepticism was hushed a bit...

But the BEST BIT: We got our spirit-attuned crystals and had a group meditation, with Paul 'channeling our energies'. My mind became completely silent (no mind chatter, nothing - God, that was BRILLIANT in itself), then I felt a force inside my head, an actual physical force pushing up toward my skull, a building intensity and then for a few seconds... hard to describe... just incredible bliss. Like an orgasm for the mind - best way I can describe it - way more intense than what amazing music has ever done for me, and without emotion, just the bliss. Then it subsided to deep, silent relaxation for a few seconds, then the intensity built up again and it happened for a couple more seconds, then subsided... This happened maybe five or six times, then he called time: open our eyes, come back in the room. And he asked us to describe it. Nobody could speak. Before that we'd all been chatty (11 of us, sitting in a big semi-circle of chairs). Not a peep out of any of us now. I was stunned.

So, go on, let it start, bring it on. Ask me for the scientific evidence. Tell me it's mumbo jumbo. Warn me that I'm being lied to and ripped off. And I'll ask you: How could I feel the difference in those crystals? And when was the last time your mind was completely and utterly silent and you had a (drug free) mindgasm?

Inky thinky parlez-vous

A thought about tattoos:

"Don't let a tattoo anchor you to the past. When choosing a design, choose something about yourself that is a constant; that runs all the way through you like the letters in a stick of rock. Then in times of self-doubt it may serve as a reminder of who you truly are, your authentic self, not of something you once were."

~ Lisa Cherry Beaumont, 2011

"When friendship reaches out, grab hold."
~ Lisa Cherry Beaumont, 2011.

Do anything you wanna do

Is there a hole in your bucket? Do you sometimes feel that no matter what you fill your life with, you’re never quite… happy… satisfied… content?

Psychologists generally agree that the most important factor in happiness (after food and shelter and all that malarkey) is having positive relationships. We seem to instinctively know this and therefore naturally strive to be a part of something: a social group, a romantic partnership.

But do you sometimes find yourself in situations where you feel you ought to pretend to be something in order to “fit in” with those around you, for them to like and accept you? Do you feel inclined to behave a certain way that doesn’t quite sit with you, wear a style of clothing you don’t particularly want to wear, or even live your life by rules that you don’t quite agree with, in order to be accepted into a certain social group or in order to attract or keep a romantic partner?

You most likely came across negative group pressure from a very early age. A child is picked on for being different and the other children feel they must join in the bullying in order to fit in. Maybe the bullied child was you or maybe you were a bully or maybe you just stood by and watched it happen knowing it was wrong but not wishing to be ostracised. When you were older perhaps you were persuaded to smoke, have sex or skive off school because the other kids were doing it.

As an adult perhaps you feel obligated to fit into a stereotype or role. Isn’t it time you bought a house of your own? Shouldn’t you be a manager at work by now? When are you going to get married and have children? Doesn’t someone who lives in a house like yours usually own a 4x4? UGG boots/camel coats/trilby hats are what everyone is wearing now, you need to go shopping… Probably nobody has said any of this to you outright but when you look around and this is what “everyone” in your peer group is doing, surely you’re expected to do the same. Right? ... Right? No! Of course it’s not right. (I know you knew this.)

If you find yourself comparing your life to that of others, and we all do it a bit sometimes, stop it! Stop worrying about what you think you should be doing. What someone else is doing isn’t necessarily right for you. Heck, it may not even be right for them! Of course it’s natural to want to fit in and be accepted because it makes us feel happy but only when we’re being accepted for who we really are. Those quality people who truly care about us are not worrying about what car we’re driving or whether it’s time we got a promotion but ONLY about our wellbeing. They want to spend time with us because they like us, not some pseudo personality we’ve adopted to fit in. If people want to be with you for artificial reasons that’s not real friendship and cannot be counted as a positive relationship; you can bet your boots if you found yourself in hospital they wouldn’t be waiting at the ward door at five-to-visiting time with a bottle of Lucozade.

In order to attract positive relationships we must be true to ourselves. Take some time to think about what things are important to YOU and take small steps to draw them into your life. If you think it’s not “the norm” so what? So you like trainspotting/taxidermy/going to raves in neon lycra – then get on with it! When you scratch the surface of some of the people you think you know, I guarantee you’ll find a bit of a weirdo underneath their “normal” veneer. Someone who doesn’t fit the mould; isn’t the same as everyone else, in spite of what they might have you believe. And that’s because we are all the same in that we are all individual.

I used to know a girl called Diane Bowers who had a saying, “You’re weird if you’re not a bit weird.” Isn’t that a great saying? Eight words that speak volumes. One of my interpretations is that she finds you strange if she is unable to properly connect with you because you’re covering up your true self; the things that may be a bit different, that make you YOU.

So if, like psychologists say, the most important factor in happiness is having positive relationships and if, like Diane says, it’s impossible to properly connect with someone who is hiding their true self, then doesn’t it follow that the only way you’ll ever be truly happy is to be your true self? I think it does, ya weirdo. ;o)

Morgan and coke

Continuing my theme of reiterating amusing conversations, I'd like to share with you one which highlights some obvious but surprisingly frequent boy-meets-girl-in-a-club faux-pas.

On a lively dance floor, 2am, New Year's Day, a decent-looking but over-zealous bloke started dancing with me.

Bloke: Was that your boyfriend?
Me: Huh? No.
Bloke: Is your boyfriend here?
Me: [continuing to dance] No, I don't have a boyfriend.
Bloke: What's your name?
Me: Cherry.
Bloke: [feigning a swoon] Whoa, sexy. I also have a sexy name.
Me: [feigning belief] Really?
Bloke: Yes, it's Morgan.
Me: Ohhh, nice, hello Morgan.
Morgan: So, how old are you?
Me: I'm sorry?
Morgan: How old are you? What, 19, 20..?
Me: Are you serious? Why are you asking me that?
Morgan: Beautiful: tick! Single: tick! Just wondering how old you are...
Me: How old are YOU?
Morgan: How old do you think I am?
Me: [peering through the disco lights] I don't know... 26?
Morgan: So, how old are you?
Me: How old are YOU?
Morgan: Errr, yeah, 26.
Me: [narrowing eyes suspiciously] Riiiight... Where are your friends?
Morgan: [scanning the room] Errm... Where are yours?
Me: [shrugging] Scattered.
Morgan: Yeah, mine are scattered.

After less than another 10 seconds, and before I could calculate what was happening, Morgan's arms were around my neck and his tongue was trying to get into my mouth. I struggled free whilst attempting to remain courteous.

Me: [re-organising my hair] Excuse me, I need to use the bathroom.
Morgan: [nodding and looking disappointed like he knew he'd fucked up] OK.

Good grief, am I old fashioned? He didn't even offer to buy me a drink! Obviously I didn't return.